If you would have told me ten years ago I was going to be exploring one of my passions since I was a toddler, I would have laughed hard in your face. Living in Los Angeles? HAHAHA …good joke!
But here I am.
It’s been a busy week interviewing my muses, calling professional pals asking for advice, taking time to put some advice in practice and finding some time to let myself enjoy or rest. The more I talk with other artists or professionals in their own craft, the more I realize it’s normal to feel frustration in the process and even fear to share what you are doing. Because the action of “create” comes from the very deep of your soul, it’s a rough explosion that is born as an idea and then gets materialized. But it’s up to you to let your craft grow or not. I stopped drawing for almost ten years before I had the courage to grab a pencil again. Two years after that, I started my journey as a digital artist.
To say that I didn’t know where to start would be an understatement. In my head I would only see the amazing work made by other people and think mine was just far from being good.
I didn’t realize that one of the things I used to take pride on was killing my desire to paint, PERFECTIONISM.
It also came to my mind that maybe I was too old (LOL) to start my journey as an artist, and all the insecurities that my legal status after this past election had me anxious as f*ck. So I decided to walk out of my comfort zone and try it. With time I have realized that just the action of painting is not the only part that satisfies me, I realized I had a story teller inside me desperate to work.
To me art is a bridge between the story I want to tell and the audience. I want to invite people to wonder, to think of a topic in a different way. My craft as evolved from the marriage of art and technology. I embrace the fact I have so much to learn still and honestly can’t wait for it.
I know Im closer, I can feel it.
Before COVID-19 was a thing I could see in my community, I took this photo working on the prototype of one of my paintings. Even though I had a lot of issues finishing the physical part due to my limited space, I was in work mode with more energy than ever. Plus, I had the fortune to have the support of my family and friends during the days I couldn’t figure out a way to resolve the puzzle I had in front of me. Two weeks later my art show would be postponed until further notice due to the virus. It’s been odd to conciliate with the fact that I am actually happy with how everything happened along the way. I realized I didn’t spend enough time to decide how I wanted to tell the story of my muses. I realized I had still many things in the air. A month later, I can tell you that I have grown so much since then. With the support of my muses I end up with a fresh questionnaire ready to collect their stories. Then the idea of maybe using their voices for the augmented reality animations appeared on the table. Then it occurred me to add as a background a beautiful singing bowl piece of a friend from Mexico, whom creates medicinal music and whose work ethic I admire. You can find him on Spotify as Mundalah.
This past month has given me so much to be thankful for, even tho outside my door is chaotic due to the virus. And yes, I am struggling with the idea that I might not get hired in a while for the other jobs I do on a regular basis because I am not a full-time artist. I see my craft still as a toddler and in my eyes it would be silly to expect a toddler to provide for me. I’m taking my time to enjoy my process and to be efficient on every step. That means watching hours of tutorial content, studying the other business areas I still need to nurture and leaving time for me and my personal life at home.
So in the meantime while COVID-19 waits to be history, I invite you to burst the Panic bubble. Be passionate to create, deal with the fear you might experience during the process, and breathe to shake off any insecurity your mind might be whispering to you. Fear is the grandpa instinct that tells you that you are doing something new, be gentle with him because he is only trying to warn you. Honor it, and repeat the process.
Meanwhile you have progress not perfection you will be alright, darling.