One is as free as we let ourselves be.
I feel ready to let go.
I feel ready to let go of pain, hate and resentment. I have surrendered to that side of me who wanted unconsciously to be chained to all these memories, thinking that that fire would make me stronger. I didn’t realize it was consuming me inside out.
During this pandemic I keep hearing people are going crazy because of being trapped inside of a “box”. Some think the “box” represents their home; I believe the “box” is one’s own mind and we can be as free as we let ourselves be. For almost 30 years, I have been living knowing that “I have the power” to create my destiny. But just a couple of days ago, this epiphany struck me like a thunder. I am now able to understand each step of my life, a life that for a very long time I couldn’t manage or really enjoy. I was running away from ghosts and antiquated ideas… “living” in survival mode. I couldn’t sleep or stop smoking a pack of cigarettes a day; I thought I had everything under control and that I knew the answers. And even tho, I indeed knew the answers for some things I didn’t know how to apply them in a constructive way. I had my chest saturated with rage even tho my heart was full of love.
It has taken me 5 years to find my own way in life… a more mindful life.
5 years to find the strength to let go of old resentments and understand that life is way too cool to not enjoy every moment of it. During this lockdown I have being more introspective, working on matters I otherwise would have managed to ignore so I can keep up the speed of life. Now, I have nothing but time to do all that homework I’ve been procrastinating for a long… long time. I am finding more compassion for others and for myself, and learning how to take care of my inner child in a more healthy way. It feels good. I still have a lot to heal. Breaking generational toxic chains ain’t easy but isn’t impossible.
The Coronavirus might have more to offer than just paranoia and economical stress. Are we paying proper attention?
I am grateful for all the opportunities this pandemic is offering me every single day. I am grateful to heal old wounds with one of my brothers after 4 years of silence and resentment. Yup, that was my rap believe it or not… I trust life has a perfect timing even tho we might not get it right a way. I invite you to let go and to enjoy every moment this life has to offer you, it’s time to do some soul cleansing and become who we really are. No more pressure to “look” trendy, no more saturation of our senses. It’s only you, in a good way.
Much love.